“I want your life to be comfortable when you’re old”

This isn’t my best picture, but it is me, earlier this year at our first Knitathon in Calgary.

I included it so that you would have an idea of where I am, and what I am trying to accomplish at the moment.

I have struggled with my weight for years – since I was a child.  I don’t think I’ve been “normal” since I learned to read.  Anyways, I weigh too much.  In fact, two weeks ago, at my TOPS weigh-in, I bumped heads with a number that I thought I wasn’t going to see again, and &(*&)&* it all, I did.  So at that point, I once again had more than 100 pounds to lose in order to be at my goal weight.  I”ve been in denial ever since.

Not really, but I really didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, and I just felt so angry about the whole thing.  Fortunately I also had an appointment scheduled with a health nurse whose specialty is chronic conditions.  My obesity is even more chronic than my high blood pressure, meaning I’ve had it longer.  I don’t like having either one.

Tuesday after that awful weigh-in, we met and talked for over an hour.  I discovered that I have about a 1 percent chance of dying of heart disease in the next 10 years.  This is comforting, considering how much weight I’ve been carrying around.  I don’t have diabetes, I just have high blood pressure.

And I’m tired of talking about weight and exercise and diet.  I’m tired of reading books about weight and exercise and diet.  And I’m also tired of seeing others lose it, while I don’t.  It’s not that I can’t…it’s just that I don’t.   Something has got to give, and I think it’s really time that I started sharing this part of my story here.  Today’s the day.

Em and I are talking about gym memberships.  There’s a gym just down the street – no pool, no fun stuff, but close.  There’s also the Leisure Centre, not terribly far, but loaded with all kinds of fun stuff to do.  And today, I’m too stuffed up to even go look at the gym that’s close by.

The gym conversation ended with the quote that heads this post.  But it’s an important idea to think about.  I am starting to hurt. Especially at work.  Being obese is not helpful here.  Continuing to be obese will certainly not help me be comfortable when I’m old (50 is the new 30 I’ve heard).  It is time to roll up my sleeves and get to work.

I don’t think I’m going to blog about every bit of food that I ingest.  That might be boring.  But I will be trying new things and sharing those.  Maybe I’ll get Emma to take my measurements.  Then I might just post them, or share the changes.

I will tell you this, though.  I’ve started eating salad for breakfast.  With half a can of salmon or tuna.  It’s not bad, and I get a good dose of vegetables into my system first thing in the morning.  At night I just didn’t feel like eating them.

As I said, the visit with the health nurse was a long one, but I came out of it with a set of goals that I will share next time!

I’m off to bed to sleep off my cold!

Last night (Thursday) was my TOPS weigh in – I lost 1 – 1/2 pounds. (99.5 of them to go!)

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2 Comments

Filed under RED: Losing weight, gaining fitness, strength and new cooking ideas

2 responses to ““I want your life to be comfortable when you’re old”

  1. Linda J

    Hello Marcia – I read your post yesterday and wish you the best with having a healthier life. I have been following the blog/web site of Michelle Cederberg http://www.michellecederberg.com/blog/.
    I had a session with her this summer and the lightbulb moment we had was that I need to focus on the good I have done in regards to self care and not the negative. Good choices like following the Canada Food Guide; small choices like taking the stairs down from my office and not the elevator. We need to remember to be gentle with ourselves and be kind in our self-talk. Good luck..your friend Linda

  2. Linda J

    Hello – You may want to read an article in today’s Calgary Herald (Sept 30 page C2) – When the body knows best…..Linda J

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